My kids are pretty funny.
Really funny, in fact.
I write down some of the things they say:
A complaint from the oldest after laying her head in my lap and suddenly realizing I was absent-mindedly giving her Bo Derek braids: “Mom. Stop it. You’re momming wrong.”
While playing Minecraft, Eric looks over at me as I’m reading Lonesome Dove for the 800th time, and says, “Look mom! I’m trying to rent this pig!”
Available at…Hot Topic?
A Short Dissertation on the horrifying store Hot Topic, from The Oldest Progeny:
“Okay, it’s not That Bad. Just because the walls are painted black and they play The Music of My Kind doesn’t mean that it’s a bad establishment. You wouldn’t believe how much Hello Kitty stuff is in there.”
Eric informs me he doesn’t want me shopping at Walmart any more:
“Mom, you don’t belong in Walmart. You need to shop at Target.”
“Why?”
“Ugly girls shop at Walmart. Pretty ones go to Target.”
Eric makes An Important Scientific Discovery:
“I smell like an Eric. I’m the reason the gas planets formed.”
Eric, whispering to Kenton:
“I think mom has a temper.”
“What do you think would happen if I told her you said that?” Kenton asked.
“I would kill you. After mom got done with me.”
Smells good.
The oldest makes a wish: ”I want a candle that smells like book.”
While playing with a toy he buried in the mud, Eric announced:
This has all my festations on it.”
“What are festations?” his brother asked.
“I don’t know. I just made that word up.”
After what he considered a dismal performance on Halo, Eric said, “I was on my game, I just wasn’t on the top of my game. If ya know what I mean.”
Eric farts while sitting next to his brother. Kenton, exasperated and nauseated, looks at his little brother and asks, ”Why do you always have to point that gun at me when you know it’s going to fire?”
Allyson explaining belly buttons to Eric:
“You were connected to mom by a cord. But now you’ve gone wireless.”
“Yeah! And I have Unlimited Talk and Text!”